Tuesday, September 29, 2009

"Old" Jokes

I like the saying "getting old is not for sissies." It says a lot about the realities of aging. One of the realities of aging that I like to keep in mind is that it will all go a little better if you keep a sense of humor about it.  If the humor is about someone else's aging all the better. I like these:

Two elderly gentlement from a retirement center were sitting on a bench when one turns to the other and says: "I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel? His friend says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says "Windy, Isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

A little old man shuffled slowing into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool...After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress kindly asks, "crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "arthritis."


  1. Good ones. HeeeHeeeheee! Nothing like and old joke to put a smile on your face. Thanks...I needed that!

    Have a super great day!!

    God Bless

  2. hahahaha, those were great! I like the second one the best. Just read it to my hubby and we had a good laugh! :)

  3. Thanks for the laughs! It's just what I needed after a busy day!

  4. Funny, but terrifying at the same time.