Friday, April 8, 2011

A Tough Week With Lots Of Questions That Have No Anwers

My week at work started by receiving tragic news early Monday morning. A work colleague, a woman who does the same job I do in a different office, had been shot to death as she opened the office that morning. As the news and fear spread from office to office it became known that the primary suspect was the woman's ex-husband, a man she had been married to for 45 years and divorced from for about 4 years.

As the shock subsided and the sadness set in the questions started. Though we all have to deal with death, my work community is not, in general, a population that has dealt with this type of violent death. Many of us were aware that she had been dealing with threats from her ex-husband and had been taking all possible precautions. I've been told that she recently said that she was tired of living in fear behind locked doors.

How could this happen in a public area in an affluent community? What could anyone have done to prevent this from happening? How could a sweet, kind, lovely woman find herself in this kind of situation? Why, why, why? What if, what if, what if? The bottom line conclusion to all the questions about how someone's mind can go so wrong that they do something like this is that sometimes there are no answers.

My company has done a stellar job of supporting the other employees in the area, and more importantly they will support her surviving family in every possible way. They will do everything they can, but we will all be left with questions that have no answers.

25 comments:

  1. Gosh Jeanie, that's just horrible and senseless. My sympathy to the family.

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  2. I'm so sorry. Things like this never make any sense. But when something terrible happens, it's natural to have so many questions.

    It's always easy to give advice to others when I'm on the outside looking in. You just need to realize that there was nothing you personally could have done. It was a situation outside your realm of control. Support the family as best you can, and realize that you are blessed to have a great family.

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  3. The ex-husband...at least they know who, so everyone isn't wondering if they will be next...but so hard on everyone...really scarey...

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear about this. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family and friends. It sounds like an isolated incident, but it never hurts to be carefully aware of our surroundings. Hope you and your co-workers can get through this with as little difficulty as possible.

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  5. Oh my gosh! That is so terrible. And must have been so shocking for you. I´m so sorry. You are right, there are no answers and I really would not know how I would handle such a situation. Hopefully they put that guy behind bars!

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  6. I believe men and women do this because they are angry they cannot control this person any longer. It is a control issue. Very, very sad. I am sorry.

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  7. Gosh, this actually reminds me of the post I did today...my father was abusvie to my mother and tried to drown her in the swimming pool and it's just seems crazy that this continues to so many women. It's sad and it's scary and I feel so sorry for her family.
    I'm thinking of you...

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  8. Oh my gosh! That is just awful! It's really hard to prevent this sort of thing from happening, isn't it? You can get a restraining order, but that doesn't always work either. This is so sad.

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  9. I am so sorry, Jeanie; so sad in so many ways, I feel for the lady's family and if she had children, how hard this has to be for them as they deal with tragedy of losing their mom and realizing their dad was the one who took her life (if that is the case as it is investigated). Just so sad. You are right, sometimes there are no answers and it makes absolutely no sense and that's when we do what we can to help others and to be kinder to our families and love on them because we just never know what lies in each new day, and those of us who believe, just trust in God and know that these kinds of things he knows about and allows for whatever reason, hard as it is to deal with them.......

    so sorry for all in your community, the family, etc

    betty

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  10. That is so very sad. I hope you and your co-workers can get through this and not be scared to go to work. That is way scary!

    Prayers and {{hugs}}

    Linda

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  11. Tragic. Let us know when there is an arrest. Hopefully soon. It is so senseless to end a life. It is twisted thinking to believe the best thing someone could do is to kill someone else. We just do not have that right.

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  12. Oh geez. What a tragedy. Poor, poor woman. Yes, no easy answers, if any answers at all. I'm thinking of you and the community.

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  13. I heard about that on the news...seems so impersonal and far away (because we have been cinditioned that way) until you learn about someone that is connected to the incident. I am sure all of you have been dealing with hard questions. Glad you got to go to a grief counseling session.

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  14. I am so sorry to hear of this...and so sad for her family. Some men are twisted sick, no wonder she left him. I think these times we live in now, push even "normal" people off the brink...

    The other morning, while walking Izzy, my friend and neighbor up the street told me her friend's 18 year old son hung himself in their garage. His younger sister found him. She was going to the funeral...

    I keep reading tragic stories of people in Japan...

    I hear of couples breaking up...people becoming homeless...

    It is so horrible to feel so helpless without any answers. I will pray for all of you...

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  15. Oh that's awful..so sorry to hear something like this. Such a hard thing to understand. Take care!

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  16. Oh my goodness - first time visitor via Betty. I am so sorry this happened to this poor woman. There is no understanding for an act such as this.

    Sandie♥

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  17. I'm so sorry to hear of this tragic and senseless death. One cannot wrap one's mind mind around how someone can be in the frame of mind to do something like this.

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  18. Oh my, that is so sad and scary. My heart goes out to everyone involved.

    Situations like this rarely ever have all the questions answered. It's hard to imagine how something like this can happen anywhere let alone in a place that is generally considered "safe". I am so sorry.

    xxoo jj

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  19. Incredibly tragic, I'm at a loss for words.

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  20. Heard of this on the news. I am so glad your company has taken the time to make sure you all get help. I am also glad they found the ex-husband. I just don't understand something like this.

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  21. It's so different to experience first hand what we see on the news everyday.
    I am sorry. The sad thing is the police have no ability to help until a crime has been committed. At least she is no longer living in fear, but how terribly tragic. Women in 3rd world countries live like this every day. They are beaten, raped, killed, they have no value. Sometimes these tragedies help us look around and take note of all that goes on that we are so immune too. Sometimes it changes us and we try to make a difference.

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  22. Very tragic and it must make everyone feel uneasy, however, it's good to hear that your company is handling everything in a stellar manner. So sorry for all those who cared for her.

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  23. Oh Jeanie, I'm so sorry you even had to deal with this. Take care.
    I also checked out your post above this one with the pic of the gas station offering financing! So funny!

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  24. I am sorry to hear about your co-worker. I can't imagine having to hear and deal with something as tragic as that. Praying for your heart and for the family of your co-worker.

    Jessica

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  25. Oh gosh - so very very sorry to hear this.

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