Sunday, July 17, 2011

A Minor Dilemma


This is not an earth shattering problem, but one I would like to figure out. I want to change hairdressers. The problem is I have known the woman who does my hair for over 25 years and I don't want to cause any bad feelings. 

The short history is that that I started going to her shortly after I moved here and stayed with her for several years. When I started a job that was out of town I switched to someone who was near where I worked because I needed to be able to go at lunch or right after work and that seemed fine with her. When I started working back in town I went to several different hairdressers and ended up going to a girl one of my daughters had gone to high school with and stayed with her for many years.  She eventually moved to a salon that was too far away to be convenient for me so I went back to the woman I started with here years ago.

We are not close friends, but have always been friendly and often run into each other at activities in our sort of small town. I have not been very happy with my hair since I started going back to her and would like to find a good way to make a change. Like I said, this is sort of a minor dilemma, but one I would like to resolve with no hard feelings.

I would love to hear some advice or how someone solved a similar dilemma.


17 comments:

  1. I got "nuthin'" for you...
    Sounds like you will just have to make the change and hope she is professional enough to understand.
    This is difficult since you live in a small town. Good luck!

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  2. Hi Jeanie, I so relate to this post because often I feel a sense of obligation to those who do my hair. Too the point where I feel guilty for wanting to change. I would just go to someone else-miss a cut or two and if she calls to check in say you needed something different. I usually go to someone for a couple of years and then try to switch it up a bit.
    I know this doesn't help but you've got to be happy and if she is your friend, she will understand.
    Hugs, Noreen

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  3. Clueless here, Jeanie. I liked the girl who did my hair when we lived in Montana and then after we moved, I stopped having it done with coloring/highlights to save money so I just go to a local haircut place and get it cut when it needs it. Hoping others will be of more help! Good luck with it!

    betty

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  4. I ended up letting mine grow out just because of that. I think it might be easier to just go to one of the fast clip joints (o: I hate to pay to much and I hate the expectations of a big tip...I am a pain I guess. My friend just told me how much she pays to get her hair colored and I know why I stick with the box...yikes.
    Just try someone else. If you don't you may have to wait till she retires (o:
    I think we need to set a coffee date... but it is crazy around here...you too I bet. What about Monday the 25th? or some day that week.

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  5. Oh boy can I relate... I am so picky. I need someone who will put up with my persnicitiness, cut a good hair cut, do a good weave, a good listener and open to change and criticism. Not too many fall into this catagory, so often, I end up with one to cut my hair and one to color...

    Here are some ideas:

    Observe other women hair dos and ask where they get their hair done and just keep trying til you find one you like. Don't offer any explanations, she will feel just as uncomfortable as you in asking what happened...she will know. If she asks, be honest. I agree with the others, you needed a change.

    It is so personal for a woman in getting a decent hair cut... Some times stylists are resistant to change or they see you in a certain hair style and don't listen to what you want.

    Always bring a picture or a drawing and know how long you want it over the ears, your eyes and on your neck.

    Good luck!

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  6. Some great suggestions here. I go to one of those quick cut places for cuts. I normally would just go with whoever was available. I didn't get excited with anyone particular. "I'm an old lady, just give me an old lady cut." Then one day I had someone new at the quick cuts place and I loved what she did. I had sort of developed a relationship with the other stylist and the next time I made an appointment thinking I was making an appointment with my new amazing stylist, but it was with the other one. It was very uncomfortable for me to say that I meant to have the new one cut my hair. The first stylist was so open about it and said she understood and that I shouldn't feel bad about switching. Besides, sometimes we just want something new and it takes a new person to deliver. Also, it's good for the salon if all of the stylists are understanding in that regard.

    Hope that helps. I'm always for honesty....and tactfulness!

    Good luck!

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  7. My mom and I have both had that problem. I just decided to go somewhere else and didn't explain anything.

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  8. I thought about it and can't come up with a good solution but if you are unhappy with your hair you should definetely change stylists. Hopefully there won't be any hard feelings. I feel your pain.

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  9. Have your husband buy you a gift certificate at a new place you want to try - and then when you run into her - tell her your hubby bought you a gift certificate to . . . ???

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  10. I think you might want to take pictures of what you like with you and just try some new looks from the pictures. When I do that she knows what I want and she does it good. But if I am just explaining what I want, it's like she doesn't quite understand what I am wanting.

    I think it is worth a try. And if that doesn't work, then just find a new gal.

    Good luck!

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  11. I just went through this. Boy, it was ackward...but sometimes I think when you go to the same place over and over, they can't see you with fresh 'eyes'. I'm glad I made a change...and there's nothing that says I might not go back to the original girl someday.

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  12. I joke that it is easier to replace a husband than a hair dresser. I just stop going when I am not happy with the cut, and believe me, this happens frequently. You are paying for a service. If you are not happy with the service, change. No explanation is necessary. When you see her, smile and say, "hello."

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  13. Do not get your hair done by someone who is not doing it the way you want it done. I would not make another appointment with her. Make an appointment with someone else. You do not have to make excuses. She is a hairdresser, not your close friend. Even if she were you close friend, you must honor who you are and what you are willing to pay for. Is there some way you can see some women who get their hair done somewhere else by someone else? Not out of town, but at a different salon. When you see someone with a really cool hair cut and/or color, ask who they go to.

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  14. Lisa @ Grandma's BriefsJuly 19, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    Chatty Crone's is a great idea. And the woman is a professional so she likely won't question you...or at least shouldn't. Good luck!

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  15. Ouch... hard one. I just bumped into our old tai chi teacher at McDonalds and it was pretty uncomfortable, but I just smiled excitedly and showed him how happy I was to see him.

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  16. I had the same dilema in Palmerston North a few years ago.. there is nothing you can do if you are not happy with how she does your hair except go somewhere else! When you are paying good money to get your hair done you deserve to like it... never mind what the hairdresser thinks!
    Go for it.

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  17. That's a tough one...perhaps you could invite her help and tell her you are in a rut and would like to try someone different-it's nothing against her but you are ready for something new~
    UGH! I'm feeling for you in this one!

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