I've told this story before and I am telling it again today in remembrance of my best friend who died from breast cancer and to share my regard for everyone who has been touched by this disease.
My best friend died from breast cancer about 11 years ago. We had been best friends for over 40 years when she died. As always, during her illness we talked a lot and got together from time to time even though we lived about 700 miles apart. There is one conversation I still remember nearly every day....every time I take a bath.
When she was ill, one of the things that helped ease her pain was taking a hot bath. The day of the conversation that I remember had been a rough day for her. While her mom, who was helping to care for her, was gone to run some errands she got into the bathtub hoping to get a little relief from her pain. She called me from the bathtub, saying she was home alone and too weak to get our of the tub on her own and that this was the first time that had happened to her. There was, of course, nothing I could do to help her out of the bath tub from 700 miles away, so we talked. We talked about her illness and her fears, we talked about her kids and mine, we talked about all the things we normally talked about. Even talking for a long period was difficult for her at that stage of her illness, so we also shared moments of silence from 700 miles away.
Even after all the years I still think of our conversation, one of the last I had with her, every time I take a bath. It makes me feel a lot of things, but the greatest thing I feel about it is gratitude. I am grateful that I can still get out of the bathtub with ease, I am grateful for the friendship we had, I am grateful that we got to have one last conversation about all the things we had talked about for years, I am grateful that I am the one she reached out to in what was a frightening first in the course of her illness, and I am grateful for the comfort we both felt with each other in the moments of silence.
Please use the reminders of Breast Cancer Awareness Month
to do everything possible to assure your own breast health.
Either we have been personally touched by breast cancer or we have friends and family who have been. Any kind of cancer is dreadful and watching our loved ones suffer is debilitating for us as well. That was a lovely phone conversation you held with your friend and I know it gave her comfort to have you with her even at a long distance and even in the quiet moments.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this anecdote with us, dear Jeanie, and for helping to raise awareness about breast cancer. It is important for all of us to educate ourselves and our loved ones about this indiscriminate menace.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you wholeheartedly that the best way to honor your best friend's memory is to be deeply grateful for all that you have, grateful that she held you in such high esteem that she turned to you in one of her darkest hours, and grateful for the conversation you had with her that day including the profound silences that spoke volumes.
Blessings to you, dear friend Jeanie!
What a beautiful friendship, and it warms my heart to read again how you comforted each other on the phone with her in the bath tub and you on the other end of the phone. We all have someone in our lives who battled with breast cancer, so sad to hear of the ones who lost the fight.
ReplyDeleteWhat an immediate and REAL aspect you've added to my knowledge of cancer.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, I have had little connection to cancer, so it was very touching to imagine my friend, far away and unable to get out of a tub, us just talking...
I'll bet you were a good friend to her. I'll bet she was as grateful for that time on the phone as you were.
Best,
Pearl
I don't remember this story, so I'm awfully glad that you shared it again. I love hearing about this friendship and I am so grateful that you could walk a part of her journey with her, miles apart, yet so immediately. I hadn't really associated being weak and the bathtub, although I confess, I use the shower because getting out isn't what it used to be. That is MY fault. In her case, that soothing bath was fraught with complications. I am so glad you could "stay" with her, let her be silent, share those stories. That was a gift.
ReplyDeleteI love this. Thank you.
My mother-in-law had a double mastectomy and later died of throat cancer. It was a difficult time. I hear of too many women who have to suffer through this terrible affliction. You were such a terrific friend, Jeanie. I'm so glad you are able to always hold in your heart beautiful memories of your dear friend.
ReplyDeleteI think I do remember this story, Jeanie, but great reminder to post it for people to be cognizant of taking care of their whole bodies. I'm sure to this day you miss the friendship you shared with her.
ReplyDeletebetty
What a great friendship you both had in each other. Breast cancer has touched my friends and relatives, too. Some have survived and others have died from this awful disease. I hope it does not afflict any more people I know.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful story between friends. She needed you and you gave of yourself. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this story. It's a reminder to all of us that there are things we can do for friends and family suffering from this (or any) disease, and that we should be grateful every day for what we have.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely brilliant post. I know that it was not easy to share all of this, but it was perfect for the ocassionally. One can be a care giver from any distance.
ReplyDeleteAwww this post brought a tear to me eye.
ReplyDeleteI know how sad it must have been to lose your darling friend... and yet you still have lovely memories.
That's so sweet.
Your post touches my heart. What a great story of friendship. How you must miss her. Friendship is a beautiful thing. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post honoring your friendship and your friend. It also is one that really touches me in a profound way. How many of us have a friend like she had in you? I am so grateful you were there when she needed someone just to talk to her in a scary situation. I am also thankful you had her in your life to teach you and us about the value of a friend who listens and of one who can just be silent with us.
ReplyDeleteThere's no doubt you made a meaningful impact on your dear friend as she soaked in the tub that day. Cancer is a nasty disease. A reminder to check for breast cancer is a blessing. Thank you.
ReplyDeletexo jj
Jeanie, I missed this post. My mother died of breast cancer and a good friend has just been diagnosed. So many lives touched by this disease. Your loving thoughts of your friend are sad - it's wonderful that the memories you shared with her live on in you. How's Doc?
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